When we first discovered that I was an ideal candidate for IVF several years ago, I was elated. My husband, however, was more apprehensive. I tend to be the “seize the moment” type, while he is much more logical and focused on the big picture. I saw IVF as an opportunity to grow our family. He was already thinking about the difficult questions we might face in the future.
Thankfully, our IVF journey brought us three positive pregnancies from two embryo transfers. The first resulted in a healthy baby boy. The second pregnancy ended in miscarriage, but our third transfer resulted in triplets. Our family was complete.
But we still had four embryos remaining.
For years, we struggled with what to do with them. Eventually, we decided we would try to transfer the remaining embryos ourselves. However, my health took an unexpected turn when I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. My doctor strongly advised against attempting another pregnancy, leaving us once again wondering what options were available for our embryos.
We began researching and searching for an alternative, and that is when we discovered the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program. We had no idea that embryo adoption was even an option. Once we learned more about Nightlight and the Snowflakes program, we began to feel that this could be the right path for our family and our remaining embryos.
Even after making the decision to move forward, the process was not easy for me emotionally. It took years to finalize our decision—not because the process itself was difficult, but because I struggled with the idea of letting go. These embryos had been created during such an important and emotional chapter of our lives, and the thought of entrusting them to another family brought up a lot of complicated feelings.
Eventually, though, I reached a point where I felt ready. I realized that choosing embryo adoption did not diminish the connection I had to our embryos or the memories surrounding them. Instead, it gave me an opportunity to help another family who was longing for a child.
When the agency contacted us to let us know they had found a potential match, my emotions were all over the place. I wasn’t sure I was ready to take that next step. Then I read Jason and Laura’s profile.
Their story resonated with me. I remembered what it felt like to desperately want a child and to face the uncertainty and emotional challenges that come with infertility. I could see how much they wanted to build their family, and I began to feel confident that our embryos could be in caring, loving hands.
We ultimately decided to have open communication with Jason and Laura through email, allowing us to stay connected throughout the process. We have been grateful to hear about their journey and to share in the experience with them.
Unfortunately, their first embryo transfer did not result in a thriving pregnancy. While that was difficult news for everyone, we remain hopeful for the future. Knowing that our embryos have been given another opportunity to become part of a family has brought us comfort.
Looking back, I never could have imagined that our IVF journey would eventually lead us here. We experienced the excitement of successful pregnancies, the heartbreak of miscarriage, the challenges of high-risk pregnancies and time in the NICU, and the difficult decision of what to do with our remaining embryos
Those experiences shaped us and ultimately helped us understand how meaningful it could be to give another family an opportunity that we once desperately wanted ourselves.
We are incredibly grateful for Jason and Laura and for the care they have shown throughout this journey. We are hopeful for their future and grateful that our embryos have been given the opportunity to continue their journey with a family who wants them.
We are also thankful to the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program for helping us navigate a decision we once found incredibly difficult. Our hope is that by sharing our story, another family with remaining embryos may realize that they have options—and that choosing embryo adoption can be a meaningful way to give those embryos the opportunity to become part of another family.
Do you have an embryo adoption or donation story? Send your story and photos to us! Post them yourself via Facebook, or email us your story, and we will make it available on our Family Stories page, found on our website.
Email Paige@nightlight.org and help another family build their embryo donation or adoption story.
To learn about embryo donation and adoption, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.
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