October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month It is a time to remember the babies whose lives were far too short and to acknowledge the grief carried by the parents and families who loved them.
For many, pregnancy and infant loss can be difficult to talk about. Grief does not always have a clear timeline, and the loss of a baby can leave an emptiness that is difficult to put into words. This month offers an opportunity to slow down, honor loss, and remind grieving families that their babies are not forgotten.
Every Loss Deserves to Be Remembered
Pregnancy and infant loss can take many forms. Some families experience miscarriage early in pregnancy. Others lose a baby later in pregnancy, experience stillbirth, or say goodbye to a child shortly after birth. For some families in the embryo adoption community, grief may also be connected to the loss of an embryo.
An embryo may never have been carried in a pregnancy, but that does not mean the emotions surrounding its loss are insignificant. Families may grieve embryos that were created through IVF and later did not survive thawing, failed to continue to develop, or were lost through other circumstances beyond their control.
There is no single way to grieve, and there is no requirement that one type of loss be compared to another. Every family experiences loss differently. What matters is recognizing that behind every loss is a story, a hope, and a life that was deeply valued.
The Grief That Can Be Hard to See
Pregnancy and infant loss can sometimes feel isolating because the world may move forward while a grieving parent feels as though their world has stopped.
There may be a nursery that was never used, a name that was never given, photographs that were never taken, or dreams that will never look the way a family once imagined. Even when others do not know what to say, the grief remains.
For families who have experienced loss, simple acknowledgment can mean a great deal. Saying a baby’s name, remembering an important date, lighting a candle, writing a letter, or simply telling someone, “I remember your baby,” can help remind grieving parents that they do not have to carry their grief alone.
When Grief and Hope Exist Together
For some families in the embryo adoption community, grief and hope can exist side by side.
Families who place their remaining embryos for adoption may be making a decision shaped by years of infertility, IVF, difficult circumstances, and complicated emotions. They may carry grief for the children they intended to parent while also hoping that their remaining embryos will have an opportunity for a fulfilling life with another family.
Adopting families can also carry their own complicated emotions. The opportunity to welcome an adopted embryo can bring tremendous hope, while previous infertility, pregnancy loss, or other experiences may still be part of their story.
There is room for both grief and hope. One does not erase the other.
Taking Time to Remember
During Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, we encourage families and communities to make space for remembrance. If you have experienced a loss, there is no right or wrong way to observe this month. You may choose to participate in a remembrance event, light a candle on October 15, spend time with loved ones, pray, write, or simply take a quiet moment to remember.
You may also choose not to do anything at all. Grief is personal, and you are allowed to honor your loss in whatever way feels right for you.
To the parents who are remembering a baby this October, we see you. To those remembering an embryo, we see you too. Your love matters, your hopes matters, and your grief matters.
And to those walking alongside someone who has experienced loss, sometimes the most meaningful thing you can do is simply remember with them.
This month, may we remember the little lives that have touched so many hearts, honor the families who continue to carry their stories, and make room for both grief and hope.
To learn more about embryo adoption and donation, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.
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