My daughters are fraternal twins and look nothing alike. It has been obvious from the very beginning. I am often asked if we used IVF to conceive them. I have never been ashamed or hesitant to say yes. IVF is part of their story, part of our story, and something I am incredibly grateful for.
And, usually, that is where the conversation ends.
What most people do not know is that they were not the only embryos created during our IVF journey. In total, we were blessed with five embryos. They are two of those five. The other three were frozen—lives suspended in time while we stepped into parenthood. After years in frozen storage, we had to decide what would come next for them.
We were faced with a decision that felt anything but simple. We knew we could not keep the embryos frozen forever. At the same time, we also knew we could not realistically raise five children. Like so many families who walk this path, we were left weighing options that carried both emotional and ethical weight.
On paper, one option seemed the easiest—to discard the remaining embryos. But in our hearts, it didn’t feel like an option at all.
After four years of tears, countless medications, physical pain, emotional exhaustion, and the quiet, persistent hope—we could not imagine choosing to end their story simply because our family felt complete. Those embryos represented so much more than a medical process. They represented life, possibility, and the same fragile beginnings that led to our daughters.
Deep down, I could not shake the feeling that there was another woman out there longing for the chance to become a mother. Someone who would cherish the opportunity we had been given. I felt certain that these embryos still had a purpose and their story was not over yet.
So last year, we chose embryo adoption.
We placed all three embryos with a couple in Kansas City who had been trying to conceive for ten years. Ten years of waiting and holding onto the possibility of becoming parents. When we learned their story, something just clicked. It felt like the answer we had been searching for.
We know that embryo adoption is not the right choice for everyone. Every family, every journey, and every set of circumstances is different. But for us, it was the only path that gave us peace.
We felt a responsibility to those embryos while they were in our care—to make a decision that honored the effort it took to create them and the potential they held. If they could have spoken for themselves, I truly believe they would have asked for a chance.
Even now, I still have moments that stop me in my tracks. I will watch my girls play together and I am overwhelmed by the realization that they could have just as easily been among the embryos we placed. Their presence in our lives, in many ways, feels like a miracle shaped by both science and circumstance.
That perspective has changed me.
It has deepened my gratitude, broadened my understanding of what family can look like, and reminded me that sometimes the hardest decisions are also the most meaningful. Our story did not end when our daughters were born, it expanded. It grew to include another family, another journey, and the hope that somewhere, those three embryos were given the same chance our girls were.
That is something I will always carry with me.
Do you have an embryo adoption or donation story? Send your story and photos to us! Post them yourself via Facebook, or email us your story, and we will make it available on our Family Stories page, found on our website.
Email Paige@nightlight.org and help another family build their embryo donation or adoption story.
To learn about embryo donation and adoption, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.
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