I had always dreamed of having children. From a young age, I envisioned myself nurturing a family, surrounded by laughter and love.
As I grew older, the desire only deepened, and I eventually decided to take steps toward making that dream a reality. The journey began with an appointment with a fertility specialist. I was filled with hope and anticipation as we sat together, discussing the various options and processes that could help me achieve my goal of becoming a parent.
The specialist explained the intricacies of fertility treatments, including the option of IVF. Although the path ahead seemed complex, I was determined. I went through initial testing to assess my fertility, and that is when I received some devastating news: my fertility had diminished. Hearing those words felt like my heart had been pierced. It was a jagged pill to swallow, one that left me questioning whether my dream was slipping out of reach.
Nevertheless, even as I processed the grief, my desire to have children burned brighter than my doubts.
After much thought, I decided to move forward using donor eggs and sperm. It was not the journey I had initially imagined, but it was my chance to fulfill my dream. I loved my future children deeply, even before they existed as more than a possibility in my heart.
The IVF process was both a scientific marvel and an emotional whirlwind. With the help of incredible doctors and embryologists, I was able to create eight embryos. Each one felt like a tiny, precious miracle. When it was time for the first transfer, I chose two embryos, hoping that at least one would lead to a pregnancy.
To my overwhelming joy, I became pregnant—with twins! A boy and a girl.
From the moment I saw the first ultrasound, I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude. My children became my entire world, and every day of my pregnancy was filled with excitement and wonder. I cherished every kick, every milestone, and every promise of the life we would share together.
After my twins were born, my life transformed into something more beautiful than I could have imagined. However, my journey with the embryos was not over. I believe that life begins at conception, so the six remaining embryos were carefully frozen. I felt a deep sense of responsibility for them, knowing they represented the potential for more lives. I began to think about what to do next.
After much reflection, I reached out to the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program. I learned about the process and went through counseling to fully understand what it meant to place my embryos for adoption. The counseling process was thoughtful and supportive, helping me navigate the emotions and ethical considerations of my decision.
Ultimately, I decided to move forward with placing the embryos with a family who could give them a beautiful life.
My greatest hope was to find a loving, nurturing home for these potential children. Snowflakes’ commitment to encouraging communication between the placing and adopting families brought me great comfort. It allowed me to feel connected and assured that the embryos would be cherished.
The adopting family, a wonderful couple, went on to have three children from two successful transfers: twin girls and a boy. Knowing that these embryos were given the chance to grow into vibrant, loved children filled my heart with peace. We have maintained a relationship, and we are now planning for all the children—my twins and their children—to meet one another. The idea of them coming together as a unique, extended family fills me with joy and gratitude beyond words.
People sometimes ask if I feel a sense of loss or regret because my children are not genetically related to me. Or, perhaps, if I love them any less because of that.
My answer is unwavering: no. My twins are my children in every way that matters. I carried them, nurtured them, and have devoted my life to them. Genetics does not define love, and my heart is full because they are my children. I also feel immense happiness knowing that the adopting family now has children of their own—children who might not have been born otherwise.
This journey has taught me that love is expansive, and family is defined by the bonds we create, not by DNA.
Do you have an embryo adoption or donation story? Send your story and photos to us! Post them yourself via Facebook or email us your story and we will make it available on our Family Stories page, found on our website.
Email Paige@nightlight.org and help another family build their embryo donation or adoption story.
To learn about embryo donation and adoption, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.
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