Have you ever heard the acronym for FEAR?
FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. This phrase highlights how fear often stems from misconceptions rather than reality. What complicates matters is that we tend to seek advice from others who may not fully understand our situation. Their quick judgments often based on incomplete information or hearsay can add to our anxieties rather than alleviate them.
Let us discuss this concept in the context of embryo donation, exploring some common fears donating parents may face—and how to address them.
Fear: My children might start dating their genetic siblings.
This concern underscores the importance of direct donation or “open adoption.” Open adoption creates a connection between families, ensuring that siblings know each other and avoid unknowingly meeting and forming romantic attachments. Typically, these relationships resemble those between cousins since the children do not grow up in the same household. This openness fosters a sense of connection and understanding that benefits everyone involved—especially the siblings.
Fear: These children will resent me for giving them away.
Adopted children often grow to understand and appreciate the reasons behind their adoption. With the love and support of their adoptive families, many develop a sense of gratitude not only for their adoptive parents but also for their genetic parents. In cases of open adoption, children can maintain a connection to their heritage, which adds an extra layer of identity and value to their lives. Far from harboring resentment, they often become advocates for adoption themselves.
Fear: My embryos are older—no one will want to adopt them.
This concern is increasingly outdated. Many couples seeking embryo adoption are motivated by the inability to conceive with their own DNA and are open to adopting embryos of various ages. Thanks to advances in reproductive medicine, embryos have success in resulting in healthy pregnancies and beautiful children, regardless of the year they were frozen.
Fear: No one can raise these embryos better than I can.
It is natural to feel this way—these embryos are part of you, after all. However, if you are not planning to bring these little ones into the world for any reason—whether physical, financial, or personal—it is worth considering the potential of another family. Couples who adopt embryos do so with deep love, a strong commitment to parenting, and often a wealth of resources to provide for the child’s future. Their willingness to invest in these children’s lives is a testament to their dedication and desire to give them the opportunity for life and love. In addition, the Snowflakes® Program requires adopting families to complete a pre-adoption assessment, so you can be assured that the adopting family has been thoroughly vetted.
Moving Beyond Your Fear
It is time to confront these fears by seeking accurate information. Reach out to organizations specializing in embryo adoption to learn more about the process and what to expect. By setting aside the false evidence appearing real, you can embrace the truth—and the freedom it brings.
After all, understanding and connection can transform uncertainty into hope.
To learn more about Embryo Donation, visit embryoadoption.org.
Recent Comments