Twelve years ago, just days before our first wedding anniversary, my husband and I decided to start trying for a baby.
We envisioned a future with a child in our arms within a year. Little did we know that our journey to parenthood would take six long years filled with hope, disappointment, and resilience.
After a year of unsuccessfully trying to conceive, we decided it was time to consult our doctors. Numerous discussions ensued, accompanied by a battery of tests, only to reveal that we were part of the 10% of infertile couples with unexplained infertility. This uncertain diagnosis led us to explore alternative paths to expand our family, including fertility treatments and adoption. By our third year, I underwent our first intrauterine insemination (IUI) procedure, which failed. Undeterred, we tried a second IUI a month later, but that too was unsuccessful. The emotional and physical toll was significant, prompting a much-needed break to recuperate before attempting a third, and final, IUI.
That too failed.
The cycle of hope and disappointment, compounded by the invasive procedures and endless medical appointments, left us exhausted.
As we entered the fourth year of our journey, we turned our attention to adoption. We engaged with multiple adoption agencies, both private and state-run, and even began the mandatory classes for the state foster-to-adopt program. Balancing these classes with a full-time job and pursuing a second degree became overwhelming for my husband, leading us to temporarily halt the adoption process until he completed his degree later that year. When we revisited the idea of adoption, our hearts led us back to the fertility clinic to try IVF. My desire to experience pregnancy and carry our child was unyielding.
Fortunately, it took only two rounds to achieve a positive pregnancy test. Our joy was immense when our first son was born in April 2017. Two years later, through a third round of IVF, we welcomed our second son in August 2019. The success of the initial egg retrieval left us with five remaining embryos, presenting us with significant decisions about our family’s future.
Initially, we had envisioned a family with four children, but given our ages and the exhaustive nature of the fertility treatments, we made two incredibly difficult decisions.
In November 2021, I accepted that my body could no longer endure another pregnancy.
A few months later, in March 2022, we decided to donate our remaining embryos.
This choice marked the beginning of our relationship with Nightlight’s Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program. The realization that another woman would give birth to our genetic children was bittersweet, filling my heart with both sadness and hope. Despite the emotional complexity, we knew this was the right path. Today, we are thrilled for the couple in California who are expecting twins from our embryos, and we find comfort and joy in the fact that these embryos have the chance to become part of another loving family.
Reflecting on our journey, we would not have it any other way. The road to parenthood was longer and more arduous than we ever anticipated. However, it ultimately brought us the family we had always dreamed of and connected us with others in meaningful ways.
Do you have an embryo adoption or donation story? Send your story and photos to us! Post them yourself via Facebook or email us your story and we will make it available on our Family Stories page, found on our website.
Email Paige@nightlight.org and help another family build their embryo donation or adoption story.
To learn about embryo donation and adoption, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.
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