September 2016—Day One of our honeymoon. My wife and I decide to drive the Maui coast, along the Road to Hana. A multi-hour journey, hairpin turns, and a day of reflection as we start our new lives and journey together. As we drive, we have our theme song on—Starship’s Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now. We have a mobile app assisting us, with the tour guide speaking to us about life, its purpose, and that the Road to Hana is more about the journey than the destination.
Our journey and a new chapter of our lives began that week. Like most, life is generally in sequential order and planned, and for my wife, she has always planned to be a mother. On this trip, we had hopes of continuing our journey of life and starting OUR family.
The honeymoon ended, months went by, and quickly we came to learn starting a family would be harder than we originally thought.
Patience…that’s what my wife kept telling me. But as time went on, our patience had grown to frustration. We kept quiet, wondering, broken, and numb. Stepping in the door to the fertility clinic, we thought, "This won’t be so bad. We will run some tests, find out the problem, and be on our way."
Days later, we got an alarming call from the doctor’s office. Sure enough, the test results came back and we were devastated. From these tests, it was determined our likelihood of having children on our own was extremely low.
We had so many questions, so many emotions, so many thoughts; it was overwhelming. Our world was crumbling around us, as we saw so many of our dreams never becoming a reality. We began undergoing fertility treatments to conceive, but after two failed attempts, we were left heartbroken and with a deep sadness.
We had many days of grieving and our desire to have a family was still very strong, so we began looking into adoption. Through this journey, we found the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program. Instantly, we knew this was a perfect fit and one we wanted to pursue to build the family we have always dreamed about. We felt these embryos were our path to becoming parents.
In an attempt to take our mind off things (we were trying to come to a big life decision!), we went to see a new movie, Instant Family, which was about adoption (foster adoption, to be exact). The movie was great and very heartwarming. For those that have not seen it, I won’t spoil it, but in the end of the movie the judge hits the stereo and a song comes on. Not just any song, our song—the one Ashley and I play over and over—Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now.
In that moment, we looked at each other, both of us wiping away tears. This was us. NOTHING’S GONNA STOP US NOW!
That week, we signed the adoption contract with Snowflakes. We proceeded with ongoing paperwork, deadlines, and all of the required educational pieces. The FBI clearances, bank statements, marriage evaluations, educational pieces, all went by with a moment’s time. Now, we were ready for our home visit, and we were a nervous wreck.
Despite our nerves, the home study went perfectly, and then came the matching phase. At that point, we were three months in and were informed it would take about the same amount of time for us to be matched. Those months turned into days, as God had another plan.
Six days. Yes, SIX DAYS later, someone selected us to adopt their embryos.
We could not have been more thrilled with how perfect a match it was. Our placing family is truly wonderful and has become family to us. We have agreed upon an open adoption and have truly developed a bond with them that is indescribable.
Next came the hard part, mostly for my wife—the embryos arriving at our clinic, the blood work, the injections, the tests, and the hormones. It was a whirlwind of emotions, and with guidance from our doctor, all went as planned and we were ready for our first transfer.
Transfer day was a day surrounded by love, God’s blessings, and even a little bit of humor. And, of course, our song playing throughout. We anxiously counted down each day. Oh, how the days slowly dragged on.
After the first BETA we received the phone call, one we once thought we would never get, telling us “Congratulations, you are pregnant!” Ashley had them repeat themselves multiple times because those words were music to our ears. I started crying, looking at her. “We did it!! YOU did it!” We knew we still had a long journey ahead, but in that moment, we were celebrating.
Now along our own “Road to Hana,” I am happy to report we have a beautiful baby girl, and we cannot be more thrilled. My wife is a brave, courageous woman, and without her pushing, I don’t think we would have our daughter today. The countless injections, the sleepless nights, the tears; it was all worth it as we embark on the plan we were meant to take: Embryo adoption.
Embryo adoption is the source of our greatest joy and hope. It has given us the opportunity to grow our family in the most beautiful way.
Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now!
Do you have an embryo adoption story? Send your story and photos to us! Post them yourself via Facebook and Twitter or email us your story and we will make it available on our Family Stories page, found on our website.
Email Paige@nightlight.org and help another family build their embryo donation or adoption story.
To learn more about embryo donation and adoption, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.