The nights have grown longer, the days are colder, and there seems to be a holiday celebration every week. Yet you can’t bear to celebrate. Your infertility diagnosis is still looming over you—especially if you thought that you would be pregnant at this time last year. It is completely normal to not want to go to your spouse’s work party or the annual family Thanksgiving gathering. Honestly, all you desire is to see that positive pregnancy test.

But you can make it through this holiday season. Here are a three ways to make the holiday season a bit more bearable:

Embrace your emotions: Infertility and the emotion that comes with this journey is not something to be bottled-up. Be open with your partner when you are having a hard day. Acknowledge that it’s okay to be sad, mad, frustrated, and let yourself process through it. Reach out to your community, join an infertility support group— you don’t have to go through this process alone.

Plan a trip: Sometimes the best medicine is removing yourself from the problem. Go somewhere tropical where you can relax on the beach and enjoy the sun. Taking your focus off your infertility and allowing yourself to look forward to that vacation may be the Christmas gift you both need.

Volunteer: They say it is better to give than receive, especially during the holidays when it seems like everyone around is so focused on receiving. Look to see if there is a soup kitchen that need volunteers, sing Christmas carols at your local retirement center, volunteer with the Salvation Army. Make this Christmas one filled with giving and let it be a holiday season that you’ll remember fondly.

One way or another, you can and will make it through this holiday season. Soon it will be the New Year with new hopes. Maybe next year is your year to pursue embryo adoption? To learn more about embryo donation and adoption, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.

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