When Philip proposed to me at the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, I had no idea how significant that moment would become—not just because we were now engaged, but because of a symbol that would reappear in our lives years later. The emblem of those Games was a simple snowflake, a sign of strength, endurance, and courage. Little did I know how much that snowflake would come to mean to me.
Falling in Love a Little Later—But Just in Time
Philip and I did not meet until our early 30s, but when we did, things moved fast. We met in May 2001, were engaged nine months later, and were married just a year after that. We were excited to start a family, but it quickly became clear that getting pregnant would not come easily for us.
We did not waste time. After realizing we needed help, we turned to IVF. We were shocked when our first and only round gave us seven viable embryos. I remember insisting we transfer three embryos to give ourselves the best possible chance. Not only did we get pregnant, but also at our second ultrasound, we found out we were expecting twins.
Every ultrasound was a surprise. I could hardly believe it—two babies growing strong inside me. And when our son and daughter were born, it truly felt like a miracle. Our dreams of becoming a family of four had come true all at once.
Facing the Embryos We Left Behind
However, even as we celebrated, there were four remaining embryos—our babies—waiting in frozen storage. I always said I did not want to have a newborn at 40, and at 36, I knew the clock was ticking.
We asked the lab to “take care of our babies.” That is what they were to me—my babies. I had seen the original three multiplying under the microscope, and now, two of them were running wild through our house. How could I possibly ignore the ones left behind?
As a Catholic, destroying those embryos or donating them to science was never an option for me. I truly believe life begins at conception, and I felt a deep responsibility to all seven embryos. It was my duty to give each one the best possible chance to live.
Nevertheless, we also knew we could not bring more children into our home. We were at peace as a family of four—but I was not ready to let go.
Discovering the Snowflakes Program
Eventually, the time came to renew our embryo storage. We could not keep avoiding the decision. After researching all our options, Philip and I discovered the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption Program through Nightlight Christian Adoptions.
From the moment I learned about Snowflakes, I felt a sense of peace. We were able to choose the family that would receive our embryos. We found a loving couple that felt like the right fit.
It was bittersweet, of course. Around the holidays, the adoptive family underwent the embryo transfer. I never received an update, but somehow I just knew—it had not worked. The transfer had not been successful.
I mourned those Snowflakes.
I still do, in a quiet way. I think of them and wonder, what if? I so badly wanted them to have life. However, even in my sadness, I have no regrets. I know we did what was right.
To Others Facing the Same Decision
To anyone who still has embryos in storage and is not sure what to do, I want to share this from my heart: Give your Snowflakes the best chance at life. You will not regret it.
I still carry a quiet grief, but I also carry peace. We honored our values, our faith, and our children. And I know that, in their own way, those little lives were deeply loved—by us, and by a family who wanted to carry them forward.
Just like the snowflake from the Olympics, our journey was unique. It was shaped by faith, love, and courage—and ultimately, by the hope that life can grow in even the most unexpected ways.
Do you have an embryo adoption or donation story? Send your story and photos to us! Post them yourself via Facebook or email us your story and we will make it available on our Family Stories page, found on our website.
Email Paige@nightlight.org and help another family build their embryo donation or adoption story.
To learn about embryo donation and adoption, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.
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