(The following is part 2 of an interview with an embryo adoptive parent and was published in a Nightlight Christian Adoptions newsletter. For part 1 of the interview, click here.)
Edited by the Embryo Adoption Awareness Center
Q: If and/or when doubts or fears came throughout the process, (for both of you) how did you calm them down?
ANN: We certainly had scares during the pregnancy. I had bleeding early on. We had transferred 3 embryos in order to give them all a chance at life. It is our belief that 2 implanted and then we lost one, and hence, the bleeding. We cried and we pestered the doctors a lot! They were wonderful, and no doubt, placed in our path to help us through it all.
I am also blessed to have my very best friend to be my husband as well. We talked about all of our fears openly. Talking about fears can dispel them quite effectively. Then you have to let go.
Q: What were the most frustrating times of this process?
ANN: The most difficult times for both of us probably had to do with taking all of the medications to prepare the uterus for the embryo transfers. Once pregnant, you continue to take them for several months. They are not pleasant! They are high doses of hormones, which taken for an extended period of time, can make you think you are going to lose it! You can tell you are not yourself, but you cannot change it. It’s PMS to the max! The other thing that was very difficult for us was when the first 2 embryos, from another family, did not survive the thawing process. It was very painful. We grieved, not only for ourselves, but for the other family as well. We had to accept this, but it was not easy.
Q: What are your feelings about Reese’s arrival? How do you share these with friends or family? How do they support you?
ANN: We are so excited for Reese to arrive! We love him soooooo much already and now just want him to be well and happy. I do have some sadness over the ending of the pregnancy. For nine months I have carried him and taken care of him. Every time he moves, I am filled with joy. I will never feel as though he is not mine or ours. He is a part of me, and therefore, a part of Dave. This is the amazing blessing of this type of adoption. It’s simply a miracle! We are also apprehensive, just hoping to be good parents for him. But I understand this is rather normal for new parents. We have read a lot and plan to continue to learn everything we can to be the most effective, loving parents we can be.
We stay current with friends and family via phone, email, or one on one interaction. Everyone at our jobs stays on top of things. I am fortunate to work with a couple of people who will be more like Reese’s aunts than friends. They have even given us a baby shower (or two). They are very supportive and attentive. One of these people is also having the same “sympathy” symptoms I have had. We have also had a baby shower thrown by two of my nieces.
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