Whether you are just beginning to consider placing your embryos for adoption, working through the required paperwork, or preparing to finalize your contract, it is natural to wonder what comes next when it comes to future communication. Many embryo donors and placing parents find themselves asking thoughtful questions such as:
- Will I know if the adoptive family is successful?
- Do I want to stay in touch?
- What does an open style of communication actually look like?
These questions are both valid and meaningful, reflecting your desire to make the best possible decision for yourself and for your embryos. Understanding your communication options can help bring clarity and peace of mind.
Direct communication
This the most open style and the most commonly requested option. In this arrangement, placing and adoptive parents choose to remain in contact and build a relationship over time. Communication often begins with emails, progresses to phone calls or text messages, and may eventually include in-person meetings if both parties are comfortable. Many families choose this option because it can be a gift to everyone involved—providing reassurance to placing parents, fostering connection between families, and offering a sense of continuity for children born through embryo adoption and their siblings. With direct communication, placing parents also have the opportunity to personally select the adoptive family.
Facilitated communication
This is most often referred to as a semi-open arrangement, and offers a more structured level of contact. In this scenario, placing parents select the adoptive family but prefer not to have direct interaction before or after the children are born. Instead, they receive periodic updates (typically once a year) through a private, agency-managed system. These updates often include a summary of the child’s year and recent photographs, allowing placing parents to stay informed while maintaining a degree of privacy.
Medical-Only Communication
This is sometimes described as a closed adoption. In this arrangement, placing and adoptive families remain anonymous to one another. The placing family has the option of either choosing the adopting family or allowing the agency to select the adoptive family while honoring the placing parents’ preferences. The term “medical only” reflects the ongoing safeguard in place: if either family later becomes aware of important medical information that could influence the other, they can share it through the agency. This ensures that both families maintain privacy while still protecting the health and well-being of the children involved.
While many embryo adoption or donation programs offer only closed communication arrangements with limited choice, some programs believe placing parents should have the freedom to decide what level of communication best supports their values, comfort, and the future of their embryos. To learn more about programs that prioritize choice and transparency, visit Where to Donate Embryos for helpful resources.
To learn more about embryo adoption and donation, visit EmbyroAdoption.org.
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