Many people would often describe the holiday season as a time of joy, family and celebration—a time filled with gatherings, traditions, and togetherness. For those navigating infertility, this time can instead feel like an emotional storm. Between family photos and holiday cards, pregnancy announcements and baby’s first Christmas posts, the holidays can reinforce the longing that already feels heavy throughout the rest of the year.
If you find yourself facing infertility this holiday season, know that you are not alone. Here are some strategies to help guide you through the holidays.
Lean on Your Support System
Infertility can feel isolating, especially when you find yourself surrounded by families with children throughout the holidays. Reach out to people who understand how you are feeling, whether that be your partner, a sibling or other family member, or a friend. Find someone you trust who can offer a listening ear, a distraction, or encouragement. You do not have to navigate the season alone.
Set Boundaries
It is okay to skip events that you may find emotionally difficult or triggering. If you do attend a gathering, give yourself permission to take a break, find some time alone, or leave early. It may also be helpful to prepare scripts for hard conversations that come up. Preparing a few lines can help you feel more in control if the topics arise.
Try simple statements like:
- “We will share updates when we’re ready.”
- “We’re taking things one step at a time.”
- “It’s been a difficult journey, so we prefer not to talk about it today.”
It might also be easier to redirect the conversation – “We’ve been busy, how have you been?”
Remind yourself: Boundaries are not selfish; they’re essential. You are allowed to prioritize your emotional well-being.
Practice Self-Care
Infertility can bring about emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion. Added to the busyness and stress of the holidays, it is easy to quickly burn out. Ensure you are taking time to prioritize your emotional and physical health during this time, as fertility treatments, stress, appointments, and hormones can all take a toll. Prioritize sleep, hydration, and nourishment, and find some practices that can help to regulate your nervous system such as warm baths, yoga, walks, calming scents, soft music, etc.
Create New Traditions
Some holiday traditions may bring you comfort; others may ignite grief. If certain traditions feel especially painful, set them aside and come up with new ones. Here are some ideas:
- Plan a couple’s getaway – it could be a day trip to look at Christmas lights or a spa weekend; take some time to refresh.
- Volunteer or give back in a meaningful way – volunteer at a shelter or food bank or sponsor a family in need.
- Start a holiday for two ritual – a cozy night in with a movie marathon, a puzzle, or a candlelit dinner.
- Create a year in review ritual – reflect on what you survived, what you learned, your blessings, what brought you joy, and what you are releasing.
Remember, You Are Not Alone
Navigating infertility during the holidays is incredibly challenging, and your feelings are deeply valid. You deserve to be supported and understood, and it is okay to move throughout the season at your own pace and in your own way. Many others are also experiencing infertility throughout the holidays, whether they choose to share or do so silently.
To learn more about embryo adoption and donation, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.
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