Embryo adoption programs often ask both placing and adopting families to create a profile to share with the other party.
These profiles usually contain photos and non-identifying autobiographical information about the family creating it. Adopting families’ profiles are often very robust. They are warm and friendly. They cover an array of topics, tend to offer a lot of information, and some looks as though they were created by a graphic designer! They have longed for a family, prayed, and prepared their hearts to welcome children into their lives. They do not want anything to delay their desires, as their window of opportunity gets smaller with each passing year.
In your mind, it makes sense for their profile to be informative; after all, you are considering donating your embryos to this family. You are the ones giving them a gift. However, consider the benefits of writing an equally strong profile.
It helps establish a baseline for both parties to consider each other as their potential match. Knowing things about each other allows both families to make an informed decision. While you may like their profile, it is important for yours to be just as informative; otherwise, how can the couple feel they are a good match for you and your embryos?
What kind of things should you include?
There are usually three things you will want to include in a family profile: an introduction, an autobiography, and some photos.
A good introduction sets the tone of the whole profile. Are you warm and friendly, all business, or just the facts kind of individuals? This is also the section where you may explain your family-building journey and how you came to make the decision to choose an adopting family for your remaining embryos.
The autobiography is all about you and your family, and the things that make you unique. What do you excel at? What do you like to do in your free time? What are your experiences that make you, you? Sharing about yourself allows each family to become familiar with each other’s interests and outlooks.
Lastly, sharing photos gives adopting families a better idea of the physical traits their future children may have. It also provides a visual way to share information about your family.
Many embryo adoption agencies, such as the Snowflakes® Embryo Adoption Program, encourage open communication between placing and adopting families. Staying connected benefits both families, the children, and any siblings. Some placing families have found that sharing their interests in their profile encourages this openness between families, as they may have an easier time interacting and relating with each other, the way friends do over a meal.
What if you don’t want to have an open relationship or communicate regularly? Alternatively, maybe you do not want to choose the adoptive family, but would rather have the embryo adoption or donation program choose on your behalf. We would still encourage you to write a profile, as it provides those doing the matching insight into who would be the ideal match for your embryos. In this scenario, you may choose to limit how much information is shared, but rather give a sense of who you are without the specifics.
In closing, here are a few tips.
- When creating your profile, choose a simple format such as Microsoft PowerPoint or Microsoft Word. There are also free tools available on such websites as Canva.
- Make it your own and have fun. Do not try to copy another person’s verbiage, but rather use your own words.
- Include the photos that bring you joy, as they are often the best representation of those we love.
- You want the best match for your embryos, so be honest about your interests and abilities. That means do not downplay your gifts and skillsets; instead, celebrate them. After all, you are amazing!
To learn more about embryo adoption and donation, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.
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