The embryo adoption process is an emotional journey for both adopting families and embryo donors.
Both sides have likely endured significant grief, the high costs of fertility treatments, and a strong desire for children. These intense emotions can sometimes cloud the perspectives of both parties, making it difficult to understand where each other are coming from.
In our previous blog, we talked about what adoptive families want embryo donors to know. This week, we will go over three things that embryo donors want adoptive families to know.
1. “We really don’t want to co-parent with you. Our family is already complete!”
A common misconception about open adoptions or direct donations is that embryo donors want to co-parent. However, exchanging occasional updates through email or social media does not mean they will be involved in daily parenting decisions. Embryo donors have already completed their family, which is why they have chosen to gift their remaining embryos to you. They are likely at a different life stage with their children than you will be. Their primary concern is ensuring that the embryos are deeply loved and well cared for.
2. “When we reach out to you for an update, it’s not because we’re prying. We really are just curious!”
Embryo donors may reach out frequently, especially during pregnancy. They understand the uncertainty of the first few months and are eager for updates as the pregnancy progresses. Their inquiries are not meant to invade your privacy; they genuinely care about you and are curious about how things are going. Pregnancy progresses quickly, and they enjoy hearing about each stage. It is as exciting for them as it is for you!
3. “This is an incredibly emotional process for us.”
Embryo donors experience a range of emotions throughout this process. They are extremely happy for you but may also feel a bit sad that they were not able to provide a home for these embryos. It is not uncommon for them to step back from communication initially after your baby is born. They may experience unexpected emotions, which does not mean they regret their decision or want the embryos back. It simply means they need time, and you may need to be patient with them.
Adopting embryos is an incredible way to grow your family while experiencing the joys of pregnancy and childbirth. Although navigating the emotions and establishing a relationship with the placing family can be challenging, it’s important to understand their perspective. You both share a deep love for these embryos, which is a powerful bond.
To learn more about embryo adoption, visit EmbryoAdoption.org.
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