Infertility can feel isolating, especially when the friends and family around seem to be oblivious to your sadness and frustration.
Couples and individuals struggling with infertility often just want to know someone cares. They want to know we are thinking of them, hoping with them, and believing along with them. While a coffee date or handwritten note of encouragement are great ideas, maybe you could consider something else to show you are on their side. Below are some ideas for tangible gifts to help you express your support.
If they are more of a visual person, perhaps a physical reminder may be a good idea. You might want to consider a piece of jewelry, such as a necklace or bracelet. For visual people this reminder helps them feel like they are not alone in their struggle. Your act of gift giving may seem inconsequential to you, but to them it is a solid reminder day to day that you are in their corner.
If they are an Emotional type of person, that coffee date, dinner, or activity could be just what they need. Spending quality time with these individuals allows them to talk, or not talk, while having the company of a good soul around them. A person who appears to understand or at least is willing to listen if needed provides them a level of comfort more appropriate for those who process with company.
Then there are some individuals who like to work through their problems on a more intellectual level, either by reading or by journaling their thoughts and feelings. Journaling often brings them clarity in situations where they have many questions, yet the outcome may be unclear at the present. It allows them some resolution in the waiting process, while giving them purpose in the waiting. Accompanying this gift with a card using a few choice words is an affirmation of your relationship. It communicates that you know them, and ultimately understand that they need to process their situation themselves.
For those whose struggle is taking a psychological toll, a getaway may be just what they need. It gives them a chance to relax and see things differently. This kind of gift provides them a respite in their journey. As they take a moment to experience a new setting, they feel more refreshed and their world is not revolving around infertility. Perhaps you cannot afford to send them on a vacation away from their daily environment, but you could send them for a spa day, or perhaps a massage. This kind of physical touch allows them to feel cared for, and the fact that you recognize it is important for them to take care of themselves while they wait makes it a blessing.
Some individuals consider themselves more spiritually focused, or has a servant heart. Being given the opportunity to do an act of service for another often brings them comfort. It allows them to take their mind off their to-do list for few minutes, while they show compassion for another and the circumstances they might be going through. These souls rest in the knowledge that God understands their circumstances and is working on their behalf.
Of course, the greatest gift you might consider giving is that of remaining embryos that you have no plan to use, due to you having completed your own family.
To find out more about embryo donation or adoption visit EmbryoAdoption.org.
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