(The following was written by an embryo adoptive parent and was published in a Nightlight Christian Adoptions newsletter. It has been edited by the Embryo Adoption Awareness Center.)
Part 1 of a story about embryo adoption and donation – Donor Perspective:
Ken and Barbara chose to place their embryos with an adoptive couple. As part of the adoption matching process, they wrote this letter to the adoptive family:
Dear Adoptive Family,
We are very fortunate to have found you and are grateful for the opportunity to share one of life’s profound blessings with you. If your experience in becoming parents is anything like ours, we understand the hope, exhilaration, and periodic disappointment you may have endured along this journey.
We decided to have a family later in life, in our early and mid-40s. Unfortunately, our first pregnancies ended in heartbreaking miscarriages, and the fertility treatments that followed were also unsuccessful. We learned that the only way we might have genetically-related offspring would be through the use of an egg donor.
Our first attempt using a “fresh cycle” was unsuccessful, which was very disappointing. But we had resolved to give IVF three chances for success. Our second attempt using a frozen embryo was successful and our daughter was born in the summer. She is the joy of our lives. Given our advancing age and unexpected health concerns that emerged shortly after the birth of our baby, making another pregnancy risky for Barbara, we are unable to add to our family by using our remaining five embryos.
We would welcome the opportunity to know the outcome of your treatments resulting in a birth of a child. We are interested in the welfare of any children born from our donation. However, we in no way wish to interfere with the adoptive family, and will respect the manner in which the child(ren) are raised and wishes for possible future contact. We are open to future contact as mutually agreeable, but realize the future often has uncharted paths and developments we cannot always anticipate.
We only ask that the child(ren) be told at a suitable time by their adoptive parents that we love them, the circumstances recounted above that motivated us to contact the Snowflakes program, and our desire for them to have the opportunity for life, to thrive, and be part of a loving and nurturing family.
We intend to inform our daughter about the circumstances surrounding her conception and that she has a sibling(s) who are part of another family, should that in fact be the case. As our children grow and mature, there may be a time when, by mutual agreement, a closer contact between families is explored.
Sincerely,
Ken & Barbara
They had no idea who might be waiting to become a family. Read about the adopting couple’s story in next week’s blog…
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