Mother’s Day is around the corner. Amid the gifts of flowers and cards made with glitter and glued-on macaroni, does your mind ever wander over to your remaining frozen embryos?
Do you often feel stuck, desiring to give these little ones life, yet due to circumstances are not in a position to do so? You have heard about embryo donation, where one couple donates their remaining embryos to another family who are perhaps not able to have genetic children of their own. Sounds good in theory, but then the realization that someone else will bring this life into the world kicks in…
Your mind is suddenly full of questions and reservations start to arise. It is not a bad idea, but because you are asking the “What if…?” questions. Imagining all kinds of situations paralyzes you with fear and results in putting off the decision to donate for years to come, only to realize you have missed a window of opportunity.
We do not want that to happen to you, so let’s address your concerns. In the end, we hope you will be able to trust the donation process and trust the adoptive family who may receive your embryos.
T stands for thoughtful.
As you have reasoned out what is important to you, so has the adopting family. Neither party has made this decision lightly.
R stands for relationship.
Remember the adage: “You get out what you put in.” It is certainly true here. Yet you have choices, and only you know what will work best for you. You can choose to have a relationship with the adopting family get to know each other, and even meet from time to time. Alternatively, you prefer not to meet and just receive yearly updates via email or a third-party platform. The choice is yours!
U is for unique.
When your embryos were created, they became a complement of the genetic parents, and will likely have traits of both. This makes them unique.
S stands for screened.
“What if the adoptive family are not good people?”
“What if their marriage does not last?”
“What if they die young?”
We are back to the “What ifs” again. The truth is, if you pick an experienced, reputable program to work with, they will have already screened the recipients or adoptive families who entered the program via an adoption home study, criminal background check, or psychological evaluation. Knowing this will give you peace of mind.
T stands for transferred.
Ultimately, your goal is to allow these embryos to have an opportunity at a full life, which means finding an adoptive family that honors your embryos. If having a say in where your embryos go is important to you, then choose an embryo adoption program that allows you to select the family match or complete a direct donation.
To learn more about embryo donation, visit embryoadoption.org.
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